One girl's view of disease as a gift, not a burden.
I am actively working on getting better at letting go. I have been for some time now. My best friend from high school and I sometimes talk about who we used to be and the things we used to do. An example that gets brought up often is the obsession I had with money. I […]
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I probably think about The Sound of Thunder more often than most. Or Sliding Doors. Well not really the movie – because it was terrible – but the concept certainly pops into my thoughts again and again. I have always loved the idea that if we turn left down the street instead of right, or if […]
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Everyone needs support. When I first got diagnosed I had an amazing friend with me the whole time, who let me lean on his shoulder and cry and then laugh and look at each other stunned… he shared lots of emotions with me that day. I could not be more grateful to have such wonderful […]
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Paddle boarding is like living with MS. Ever since being diagnosed ~ 16 months ago already ~ I have been pushing my body. To become more and more healthy, but also to explore outdoor activities and sports I’ve always wanted to try. Besides, if you’ve got Multiple Sclerosis, you can never get enough Vitamin D. […]
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I was born an extremely fearless person. Ok, well I am not really what you would call a “risk-taker.” I am naturally quite cautious. My mom would say she never had to worry about me because when I was very little I would stop my tricycle 4 feet from the edge of our two-story deck. […]
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I never knew what Multiple Sclerosis was. Over the past year, I have found there are plenty of people who don’t really know much about this disease unless they have a friend or family member who is grappling with it. I’ve also discovered that people really want to know what the heck Multiple Sclerosis is, […]
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I had a super crappy day. What happened today exactly? Looking back at it in its entirety at 9:30pm… well, nothing really. We’ve all had them; those days when everything is frustrating and awful and annoying from the very moment you wake up. Every person you interact with is a total moron and you feel […]
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We’re back together and it’s better than ever. When I was in college I smoked weed almost every single day. This allowed me to tightly draw the shades over my deepest 20-year-old issues living in NYC with no money and no confidence. Waitressing for $1100 per week didn’t seem to go anywhere. Unable to afford […]
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My trainer says I’m super strong. I have Multiple Sclerosis so I have to work out. A lot. When you are diagnosed with MS everyone is very clear; working out helps heal MS. The more I strengthen, the more my muscles will continue to support me. The harder I work out, the more I can […]
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Everyone with MS has a partner. At least it feels that way. Sometimes. I follow and read several MS blogs now, and there is one recurring theme that I just cannot relate to; how it involves their partners. This is not necessarily a complaint. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t. We all know that the […]
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I have Multiple Sclerosis and I feel guilty. Sometimes I find myself overwhelmed with feelings of guilt, and I hear this might be pretty normal. The topic of “MS and Guilt” has appeared in quite a few online articles lately and with good reason. I feel guilty because I am too tired to do anything […]
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I am very into food. I do have a serious, ongoing, life-long love affair with movies, but food is a close second. Take me to an innovative new restaurant or buy me a pizza bagel on the streets of New York and I am one happy kitten. Foie gras literally makes me purr. So in […]
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I left a chunk of my heart in Lubbock. I recently went to Texas. Lubbock, Texas specifically. If you’ve never been to Lubbock, let me tell you all about it. There is a college – Texas Tech. There is a Walmart. There is a fantastic pizza place. There are many trucks. There is a lot […]
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I have a cold. For almost a week now I’ve been feeling pretty run-down, thinking I needed more sleep. I went to Texas for a few days and anytime I travel lately, sleep becomes a real issue. Two early morning flights, out of town activities, a fairly heavy workload and tons of working out all […]
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Meditation is hard. I am positive the biggest life lesson of my 30s was learning to meditate and learning to love it. Now I crave meditation like I crave pizza, but it was quite the journey getting there. For the first 4 years it was similar to the gym. You know you’ll feel amazing afterward, […]
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Steroids are a real bitch. Okay, maybe I should start that over by first putting a huge thank you out into the universe because without steroids I would be blind in my right eye, and who knows what else. Steroids are a miracle drug that immediately reduce dangerous inflammation and are a genius invention that […]
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I was brainwashed to be a smoker. I remember my first cigarette – so incredibly disgusting by the way – but I don’t remember the why behind it. I was with my childhood best friend Sarah and I do remember that we really liked to try “adult” things together. I feel like smoking was just […]
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Dating. What a truly horrific thing to embark on in your 40s. Especially in Los Angeles. I have to be honest; most of the men here my age who don’t have a recently abandoned family are…mmmmm….not quite right. Something tends to be a bit off with these guys and it really doesn’t help when you […]
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I grew up knowing I was different. We all are, in such fascinating and quirky ways. It is what new lovers spend nights whispering and giggling about over delivery in bed. Discovering the nooks and crannies of each others’ weirdly unique souls. And then there are some things you spend your whole life thinking are […]
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Life is full of patterns. Routine and predictable bits and pieces of energy that seem to always come back around, no matter what you do. This blog will usually attempt to point out the impermanence and flow of it all, but not this post. Let’s take a moment to celebrate the patterns. And with MS, […]
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I love movies. When they are well made or innovative or emotionally connected or all of the above, movies are my favorite thing of all the things. Last week I saw A Quiet Place and experienced something for the first time as a movie-lover. I felt the weight of the world, the stakes of a […]
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Last night was an enormous breakthrough. I slept on my right side. My entire life I’ve been a right sider in all things, including sleeping. I don’t have a “side of the bed” preference, except that I like to be the furthest away from the door… unless there’s a window which really makes things confusing… […]
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When you have MS, sometimes it is hard to know if your body is responding to the disease or just regular old human things like being 9000 feet above sea level. It’s a conundrum. When I was first diagnosed, my neurology team told me all about extreme hot weather and avoiding jacuzzis and saunas… apparently […]
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One year ago today I almost lost my eyesight forever. One year ago today I spent the night in a hospital, overwhelmed with incredible fear and loneliness. One year ago today I was diagnosed with MS and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. The first week of April 2017, physically I […]
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Welcome to my blog about my life living with Multiple Sclerosis and the incredible journey on which it is taking me. I am especially excited to reach out and connect with my MS community and supporters worldwide. Share and comment on my posts… tell me about other MS resources, blogs and community events… let’s grow […]
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Tracy's Life with MS 