Life is full of patterns.
Routine and predictable bits and pieces of energy that seem to always come back around, no matter what you do. This blog will usually attempt to point out the impermanence and flow of it all, but not this post. Let’s take a moment to celebrate the patterns. And with MS, comes a whole new crazy one.
The majority of women I know experience a monthly cycle of mood and body swings – highs and lows. Every few weeks my best guy friend smugly reminds me of why I have no patience and I seem to be dropping anything and everything my fingers brush against.
The majority of humans I know experience a repetitive loop of what they believe they were born fighting against. I have always been unlucky, bad with money, attracted to crazy people… I have the fat gene, I can’t make friends, it’s always been hard for me to find work…. you get the picture. You’ve probably got one of these powerful untruths lurking around somewhere. It’s a story we tell ourselves from the time we are capable of creating a lie.
And now, my life with MS has added a brand new baby fresh pattern: fatigue like I’ve got the flu!! Woohoooo, let’s sleep 14 hours on my only day off!! Every 4-6 weeks, I am so tired, so lethargic, so fuzzy-headed, I can’t think or function or… well, do anything really.
And from here forward, we shall call this glorious state of affairs, MS Sick. Cause I feel sick. But I’m not regular virus sick. I’m MS Sick.
The real sneaky truth of it is…. it’s kind of awesome when you think about it. I now have an actual adult excuse to sleep like a teenager. Don’t knock, don’t call, don’t ask me to do anything. I’m healing in here.
If I can’t hop off this Merry-Go-Round, I might as well enjoy the ride.