My trainer says I’m super strong.

I have Multiple Sclerosis so I have to work out. A lot. When you are diagnosed with MS everyone is very clear; working out helps heal MS. The more I strengthen, the more my muscles will continue to support me. The harder I work out, the more I can increase my range of motion, flexibility, energy, spasticity and balance.

If you’ve been keeping up with these posts, you know I have been feeling pretty great lately, which I contribute almost entirely to intermittent fasting. So I’ve been increasing my workout intensity and really looking forward to getting stronger and feeling even better.

Today I went to my gym after work. The plan was simple; go upstairs, walk/light jog on the treadmill for about 25 minutes to warm up, and then focus on a Hiit workout my trainer gave me last week. Piece of cake.

I walk upstairs, hop on a treadmill, and as soon as my feet hit a decent stride I hear a guy yell “alright guys, let’s get it going!” This tall, fit, adorable instructor swoops over to my treadmill and says “Welcome to Precision Running!” I stutter and explain I don’t really run and that my knee is totally busted ~ which it totally is ~ and he smiles and tells me I should stay for at least the warm up because it’s so fun.

I stay and I run. And it IS fun. Suddenly, I am wondering why I have spent my whole life avoiding running. Why do I always take spin classes and spend so much time doing burpees and kettle bell? What have I been thinking? This is awesome. I feel strong and I can tell I haven’t smoked in over a year because I’m breathing well, and the cute guy is walking by me smiling and mouthing “great job” and I am so happy and Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! I think I tore something in my calf. Or at least pulled it or sprained it. Whatever it really hurts.

What the actual fuck.

Cute guy doesn’t even notice as I hobble off my treadmill and limp sadly back to my car. I know my workouts this week are going to take a huge hit. Maybe having MS has nothing to do with it. I didn’t stretch and I certainly didn’t plan on being in a Precision Running Class. I don’t even run. Ever. But I imagine it’s MS because sometimes I just feel weak.

There are days you feel the weight of the disease more than others. I am learning, slowly, to give myself a break. I am learning, slowly, there is great strength in slowing down and taking care. My body needs me more than ever and I have made it a promise of protection and health.

The truth is, after a bit of rest, you’ll most likely see me in that damn running class every week now. Just to prove I can do it.

My trainer says I’m super strong. I know I am.