One girl's view of disease as a gift, not a burden.
There is a weight. As time continues to pass, a weight comes with trying to write a blog post. A weight that grows slightly heavier with the gathering of so much to say and nothing to say at all. Like unused cargo in the trunk of a car. Camping gear or something useful that is […]
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My dad has never been a dog person and he is falling in love with mine. I am in my hometown, exploring the breathtaking marshes and soft, white sandy beaches. Meditating on bittersweet memories and mulling through ideas as I always do when I visit the home of my beloved and missed mother. I took […]
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There is freedom in discovering your limitations. About 9 months ago I wrote a post about my dreams of disability. Dreams of going about my life with less stress, less work, and an opening of the heart and mind. Little did I know this alluring gift was rocketing toward me like a silent freight train. […]
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The word “okay” is incredibly underrated. Whenever I get a call or an email from someone newly diagnosed, I feel so privileged they have chosen to speak with me. To connect, to vent, to cry, to express anger, or to simply ask a few of the hundred questions we all have at the very beginning. […]
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Things feel real easy and I’m trying my best not to question it. Normally, for the most part, I feel like there is a faint headwind in my life. It’s light but consistent. Always there, pushing ever so slightly against whatever I am trying to do. I don’t like to talk about it because it […]
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MS has got me thinking about my career and future in the workplace. I currently have a high-stress, C-level position and like any decent California earthquake, it is beginning to forge little cracks. Cracks in my skin and in my emotional armor, but much less noticeably, cracks in my passion for working. My parents forgot […]
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Practicing restraint may be my biggest life challenge. I’ve been feeling so, so good. Generally speaking, since my Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis. Generally speaking, since I crossed over 40 and my body began screaming for me to go to bed before 11pm and eat less junk. Generally speaking, I have been feeling great. Around the same […]
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MS is the biggest mystery of my life. The cause and origin of Multiple Sclerosis are unknown and this drives me crazy. At what precise moment did this disease make my body its new home? Neurologists seem confident I contracted MS somewhere around the age of 16. I picture myself driving my ’84 silver Honda […]
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I have never been so worried about a person I’ve never met. A few months ago I commented on Elan Gale’s IG post “you are my favorite person I have never met.” I don’t know Elan personally, but I have always found him to be funny and wise and kind of wonderful. I waved at […]
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My treadmill is making me question reality. 30 days in quarantine and I feel like I am staving off madness through travel. Travel via a 32″ screen attached to an oversized treadmill situated in an undersized bedroom. Yet I feel that I am actually exploring other countries. The persuasions our mind will create to survive. […]
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No one should ask me to hold anything breakable. In the last few months I have been particularly clumsy. In the old days I used to consider this a personality trait. Something that is part of my DNA and inexplicable, like how I am often peppy and I have hazel eyes. Now it’s clear this […]
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Living with Multiple Sclerosis while adopting a 7 month-old rescue dog is humbling. So if you were wondering why my poor sweet blog, which I love more than anything, has been left alone to wither for more than 2 months… well, puppy’s out of the bag. For my birthday this January, I welcomed a perfect […]
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I am actively working on getting better at letting go. I have been for some time now. My best friend from high school and I sometimes talk about who we used to be and the things we used to do. An example that gets brought up often is the obsession I had with money. I […]
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I probably think about The Sound of Thunder more often than most. Or Sliding Doors. Well not really the movie – because it was terrible – but the concept certainly pops into my thoughts again and again. I have always loved the idea that if we turn left down the street instead of right, or if […]
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I had a super crappy day. What happened today exactly? Looking back at it in its entirety at 9:30pm… well, nothing really. We’ve all had them; those days when everything is frustrating and awful and annoying from the very moment you wake up. Every person you interact with is a total moron and you feel […]
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One year ago today I almost lost my eyesight forever. One year ago today I spent the night in a hospital, overwhelmed with incredible fear and loneliness. One year ago today I was diagnosed with MS and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. The first week of April 2017, physically I […]
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Welcome to my blog about my life living with Multiple Sclerosis and the incredible journey on which it is taking me. I am especially excited to reach out and connect with my MS community and supporters worldwide. Share and comment on my posts… tell me about other MS resources, blogs and community events… let’s grow […]
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Tracy's Life with MS 